Mother Theresa on Forgiveness and Humility

Someone found this video and posted it in my bulletin on myspace. I want to share it with all of you. Sometime I will write about Humility myself, but at this point all I can do is try to absorb some of the wisdom and let it do its work on my soul.

Invalidating

Recently I have become more intolerant to the unsolicited advice and opinions I receive concerning the health and development of my child. However, here's what I've come to realize about this phenomena of unsolicited advise being given to a mom:

If you really think about it, it makes no sense to try to tell a mom about her child: she's got the intuition, time with the child, and, generally, the paranoia and curiosity to keep her busy reading and seeking out advise on her own.

I think the true driving force behind these comments is the need for validation. Most advise-givers are parents themselves and seeing a child just brings it all back...They want, even need, to prove that they've "still got it". They want to prove it to themselves, but they also need to prove it to me so I can validate it back to them.

Fact is that I want validation as well, that's why I get upset. I want to be acknowledged and respected as the one who knows, loves, and cares for my child best. I get defensive and ready to challenge anyone willing to question my position and abilities as a mom. I want you to validate the fact that I'm a good mom by trusting me to ask all the right questions myself, not needing your prompting.

So the cycle goes: You (my dear reader, please realize that I'm NOT talking about YOU here...am I? haha) give me unsolicited, unwavering opinions and advise about, say, my baby's sleep habits. I say that they're normal, I've looked into it (but I say it with an attitude, like how dare you even ask/say that!). You reitterate your opinion because you're afraid I don't understand the implications of what you're saying. Then I dismiss the whole conversation because I'm ready to bite your head off. We're now both a little on edge and ready to do the whole thing again next time my little one has a bad night.

Now I realize the problem on my part. I intend, starting from today, to break the cycle of invalidation. Why not validate the other person? Why deny them that simple pleasure?--it doesn't hurt me or my baby to do so. By "validate" I don't necessarily mean follow their advise. I mean thank them for being concerned and for sharing their knowledge and assure them that I will look into it. Easy cheesy. Surprising I don't already do this. Honestly it's the mature thing to do. Being prideful sure makes life more difficult and emotional.

Humility

“Those who seek humility should bear in mind the three following things: that they are the worst of sinners, that they are the most despicable of all creatures since their state is an unnatural one, and that they are even more pitiable than the demons, since they are slaves to the demons. You will also profit if you say this to yourself: how do I know what or how many other people's sins are, or whether they are greater than or equal to my own? In our ignorance you and I, my soul, are worse than all men; we are dust and ashes under their feet. How can I not regard myself as more despicable than all other creatures, for they act in accordance with the nature they have been given, while I, owing to my innumerable sins, am in a state contrary to nature.”

-- St. Gregory of Sinai, Philokalia, Vol. IV.

What do you all think of this quote? Is all this necessary to be truly humble?

I'm a Moderate.

>"A moderate what? Democrat or Republican?"
>"Just Moderate."

It's my opinion that asking someone's political party should be considered a faux pas just as it is with asking about someone's pay or what grade your classmate made on the last exam. Generally most people agree with me on this. In the past I thought that this, then, implies using discretion when talking politics. However I've recently found out that not knowing gives you, instead, the freedom, even the right, to assume that the person is not part of the opposing party. This way tact can be thrown out the window as you attack and generalize 'those people' without a worry that you're inadvertently insulting your friend who's politely listening to you. Besides, if you're friend is one of "them", they need to hear the truth anyway. Sometimes truth hurts.

>"The major centers of educated people may vote that way, but that's exactly my point. They're all freaking atheists who're afraid of stepping on anyone's toes. They will follow just about anyone, then they cling to that person for direction. They need us to provide the backbone for the country and protect them from themselves."
>"I hate them. They will follow anyone. They're just not smart and believe anything they're told. Now they're trying to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body and that global warming is a hoax. There's no place in our government for these people. They only care about their own personal riches and oil."

I've honestly been shocked by what people have been saying to me regarding the political parties (with not knowing which "side" I'm on). They tend to focus less on the policies of the party and instead make sweeping generalizations and attack the character and intelligence of individuals in the party. I never knew that people attach such personal significance to being Democrat or Republican. It is beyond me. I'm in shock at the angry condescension and laugh at the fact that they often accuse each other of the exact same traits. I've been insulted left and right, literally, because no one stops to think that I may support the other party. My feelings aren't hurt at this silliness, I'm just still reeling from the ignorance.

So let's all be smart and vote for the individuals running for office and on each policy instead of for a party. We all need to let go of the principle of being Democrat or Republican and stand on our own two feet when we vote and talk politics. That's why I'm a Moderate...how I'm registered is no one's business and it doesn't matter so don't ask.

my joy

TAISIA ANDREYEVNA

Update

Hi all. An update from the pregnant lady...

I'm feeling quite good. Don't have anything to complain about, really. Just my feet are a bit puffy and I don't think my wedding ring is coming off anytime soon. Our little one is sitting low and in the right position. She's still moving a lot, which I love. It's such a fun feeling, even when it stabs a little. Andrei and I just feel so positive about the whole experience and we're looking forward to the birth.

We've bought a condo, but it is still being built. Hopefully we will close on it Oct 20 (I'm due Oct 26). It's cutting it a little close, but what can you do? Our current lease ends this week, and we're going to live with my mom until we can move into our condo. So this is packing week. How fun...): Not a big fan of packing and cleaning.

Andrei is busy with his businesses: AF Components and aliveBroadcast. Both are coming along well. His aliveBroadcast site is getting better all the time. It's basically a photo blog--you use your webcam to take a picture and leave a little message to go with it, and then people can leave comments.

I'm busy being a home-maker and oven. That's about all there is to say about that(:

Love you all!

this one's for you, lubov

I just want to tell the world how lucky I am to have the husband that I have. For about 4 years he pursued me from overseas; then he chose a university near me, and we dated for the next 4 years. We've now been married for 2 years, and everyday he tells me how he loves me and how beautiful I am. Faithful. Wonderful.--that's my man. Already our little girl floating in my womb knows just how lucky we Taraschuk ladies are to have him--I tell her often.

A husband is the strength of the family. When I'm upset, acting out of proportion to a situation, calmly he sees past the external into what is really going on with me, and he helps me see it too. Since we've been together, I've come a long way emotionally (from being a depressed, moody timebomb to being just a bit more moody than the average Jane). I absolutely attribute it to having him there as a strong and reasonable presence, supporting me as I worked through things. God filled him, and he touched and healed me. "You pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm ok."

A husband loves, honors, and respects his wife. Recently my husband was given a difficult challenge. To put me first meant painfully putting someone else second, if it can be summed up so simply. His efforts were valiant, and I feel so honored. I'm grateful for how he showed love and respect to everyone involved as he made his decision. All-around he's an honourable man.

A husband leads his family in their spiritual journey together. My husband has a strong faith that is balanced with a spirit of grace and a realistic view of the world. He is uncompromising in his beliefs, but he leaves judgement and condemnation behind. It is his strength and balance that I admire and try to emulate. In many ways, he is my spiritual role-model. With him at my side, I feel safe and like we can't lose our way even in these days of spiritual bunny-trails--new paths forged by those who find the "straight and narrow" nice but a bit too narrow.

What else can I say? Did I tell you that he is a superb designer/programmer and businessman? That he was the prize student and is now a rising star in his field? He won't tell you that, so I will. I am so proud. He works hard, keeps up-to-date in his profession, and still finds quality time for his wife.

He will be a wonderful father: playful and loving, yet firm in matters that count. He will teach her what it means to be a good person and will give her the tools to succeed in life.

If I were as eloquent as Solomon or David I could do more justice to how good he is. I could write him a beautiful song of praise. Anyway, this is my humble attempt. You can also read the lyrics to Sarah Mclachlan's song Push. It must have been written just for our relationship. With every verse I can associate a specific memory.

Andrei, lubov, I love you. No other words can say what I feel. Я тебя люблю.

Creation: A Revealed Truth

These are a few excerpts from an interesting article entitled Revealed Truth by Fr. Patrick Henry Reardon. It is on Creation.

“We should reflect, first, that this [that all creation comes from nothing] is a revealed truth. Creation refers to a specific act that cannot be reached by the power of reason. Creation, as the Christian faith understands that term, means the passage from non-being to being. I do not know, nor can I know, by the ability of reason, that all things, visible and invisible, have passed from non-being to being.

Second, what has been created from nothing? We affirm, "heaven and earth, and all things visible and invisible." Not just earth, we understand, but heaven too. Not just the material world that we see, but also the invisible world that we cannot see. Not just the chemical substances of things, but also the mathematical theorems and physical laws that give them coherence. Everything that is not God has been created from nothingness, no matter how high, how metaphysical, how spiritual. Apart from God, there is absolutely nothing that was not made from nothing.

Third, God's creating act is the only thing that separates all things from nothing. No creature is adequately considered, then, if it is considered only in se, in itself. Creatures do not have their being a se, of themselves. They are held in existence only because an immense and continuing act of love holds them in existence. All things that endure, endure because the Creator's hand sustains them in being.

If the doctrine of creation is true, the wise man is the one who finds that place in his being where God touches him and holds him in existence.”

A Woman's Role in the Church...a comment

This post was actually intended to be a comment I wrote after reading Caleb's blog post on women in the church. It turned out to be a bit long for just a comment, so I decided to post it as a blog instead. If it's a topic that interests you, I encourage you to go to Caleb's blog (link at right) and read “Thoughts on the Role of Women in Church and the subsequent comments first, then read mine as I was influenced by what was said. I'm sure I can speak for him too when I say we'd both love to hear your thoughts. So here goes the longest comment ever...

I believe that the heart of the issue is women needing to find a voice or a place of influence/authority in what they feel is still largely a man's world. I'm reading a book called "10 Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children" by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. In it he speaks of the importance of the role of femininity in our world: "A woman's gift to the world is her femininity. She takes a cold, desolate planet, warms it with her femininity, and brings forth life. A man's gift to the world is to honor the feminine, and an added obligation is to nurture the feminine in his own heart" (99). He speaks of men and women like this: "Men are a line: their approach to life is very direct and goal oriented. Women are a circle: less direct, gentler, more open to the world around them, inclined toward circles of family and relationships...Women need men. Men have raw energy...Male aggression is necessary, but unchecked it becomes brutal. The feminine neutralizes masculine aggression and makes it more refined. And in neutralizing the male tendency toward aggression, it paves the way for transcendence. Women are more naturally spiritual than men" (97,114). So of course it is essential that women be recognized and honored in the Church and it's local places of worship.

I've always had a strong belief that a woman's place is not at the head of the church. I have such a strong intuitive feeling about it, but you've (Caleb) spurred me to put some intellectual thought into it. The first question I thought of is this: why does/would a woman need to have (access to) a position of authority within the church structure? Does she need a recognized, defined role/title in order to have a significant influence on the church structure and body and in order to make full use of her gifts of wisdom and knowledge (teaching)? I really, truly believe that, for women especially, a true leader does not need a defined place in the church structure. Women are an incredible force. I think the beauty of a woman is that she doesn't need as much structure as a man (in general) to thrive. She is a circle. She has a special ability to exist under the 'rule' of man-made organizations and at the same time not be bound by them, still never betraying her faith nor breaking the rules. (Am I making any sense?) By not having a defined position of leadership, she is able to move freely and be true to her feminine nature. No rules and politics and intellectual barriers to restrain her from acting on her spiritual intuition. So not only does she not need it, she can work her best 'magic' without it.

I like to think of Mother Theresa. I don't know many details about her life, but I do know enough that her main goal was to spread compassion as God commands. She began working out her own salvation by being a humble servant to God and man, and in the end she became a sort of spiritual world leader. She influenced every part of society: the very poor and sick to the most wealthy politicians and world powers; from lay Christians (an non-) to pastors, to the Pope. I would argue that her life and words will be remembered with more clarity and love by the world in general than, perhaps, the Pope himself, the highest leader/teacher in that faith! I wonder, if Mother Theresa had taken a defined role as deaconess or teacher in her convent or local parish, would she have had the same opportunity to enter into and change the world with her teaching?

Mother Theresa and hundreds/thousands of women like her have existed in the course of Church history--powerful prophetesses, teachers, and evangelizers. I think a few things when I look at the lives of many of these women: 1)Their goal was simply to serve God and spread His message 2)They sought nothing for themselves except salvation 3)A lot of the time, their authority as teachers seemed to have come as an after-thought. Most did not have a title/role given to them by the body of believers which in turn gave them authority. Rather, their holy lives and words were authoritative in and of themselves. People began to understand that these women didn't just have nice things to say, but they took the words as teaching because they recognized the deep spiritual wisdom and knowledge. The women's gifts blossomed and were appreciated through the natural flow of their feminine, Spirit-driven lives as passionate women who were "open to the world around them".

I know a woman who has the knowledge and spiritual wisdom that people flock to. Hypothetically, if I had to choose a female pastor/teacher for my church, she'd be it. She is very passionate, driven, and people listen to her. She is using her gifts fully within the church. Her love of God and continual spiritual growth and her priest's recognition of who she is and her abilities has brought them into a unique relationship. Through the years she has gained considerable influence, though the priest and the church's rules and ways of doing things remain unchanging and solidly Orthodox. She works in the church in all sorts of capacities, and her service has made her well-known and loved by everyone. She often gets calls from people asking for advice, spiritual or personal, or asking her to explain about church history, theology, and about the sides of controversial issues. I think she does more teaching now, perhaps, than she would ever have had the opportunity of doing in a church 'office'--those positions come with other responsibilities that make those people renowned for being super-busy and unavailable. Plus, by not being bound to any rules nor by the need to be exceptionally careful as to what she says (b/c she is not officially representing the church), she is able to be more liberal in her discussions with people, though, of course, she doesn't waver from a firm set of beliefs. I mentioned her work in the church—she's the one who gets things done. Because she doesn't have as many layers of red-tape (church-style) to get through in order to accomplish a task, the priest makes good use of her desire and ability to lead and get things done. He tells her what he needs, she tells him how she'd like to do it and what she'll need...and after discussing the main details, he sends her off with a blessing and thanks. She's able to use her gifts freely, and the church reaps the benefits. I think she's a prime example of how women can influence the entire church very effectively without an official title/role.

Actions speak louder than words. I think Peter's instructions to wives in I Peter 3:1-2 is an example of a woman's unique call to witness and teach through lifestyle. I think it can apply to all sisters in Christ in their relationships with each other, their spiritual brothers, and the leadership.

Can a woman be fully feminine and be at the head of a church? I think the position of leadership strengthens a man's “manliness,” and it requires a woman to put aside some of her qualities of gentleness, openness, and “live by intuition” mentality. It is a give-and-take for her. Some roles simply require more masculine traits. Ideally should women be expected to be fully feminine? Or is it better/does it make them more “developed” if they have more of a combination of characteristics? We expect men to learn to find their feminine side...it seems to make them better people. Is the reverse true for women? I don't think so. In that book by Rabbi Boteach, he believes that the feminization of the world's history is “messianic progress”. It's something to consider.

Besides all that, I still believe that Paul was quite clear in Timothy 2:11-14 that in church he does not allow a woman to teach or have authority over a man, that she should be silent in these cases (side-note: I believe prophesy and prayer to be wholly different things from teaching. The authority in prophesy is the Holy Spirit, not the vessel.) Because he traces it back to the Fall, I do not believe it is simply a cultural thing that we don't need to heed nowadays. Paul also says that “woman is not independent of man, and man is not independent of woman” (1 Cor 11:11) and that both are part of the royal priest hood and heirs with Christ. Men and women are equally valuable, intelligent, wise and spiritual. But at their core, their very essence, they're different, and so they are called to different roles and different ways of serving the church. That's the simple, bottom-line answer for me.

{Last note: If it is the structure of the church that largely prevents women from taking 'office', why not get rid of the structure altogether? I believe that having a church structure is essential to maintaining consistency and preventing spiritual heresy and chaos. God refers to his people as sheep (will follow just about any other sheep over a cliff) and we, the church, need solid leadership. God calls for church leaders to be the shepherds and heads of the church families as He is the Great Shepherd and head of the Body of Christ.}

28 Weeks

Now I'm seven months along. She's moving more than ever, and I still love it! The constant fatigue is gone, and I feel pretty good these days. It's been hard to fall asleep lately--can't turn my mind off. It's starting to sink in that we're going to be holding a little baby of our own very soon, although it's still a bit surreal. My guess is that it won't seem real until she's about a week old. I'm starting to have dreams about having her around in our everyday life: taking turns holding our little bundle at church; going for long walks while we wait for papa to come home; her sleeping in the moses basket over dinner at someone's house. The dreams are preparing me, I think, for the reality of having a child...so is the insomnia. We've been looking for a place to buy, and it takes some effort to remember that we need to live in a family/kid-friendly environment with a nearby park or nice grassy area, a fenced-in backyard or porch area, and so forth. It's so tempting to buy a nice, new condo near the lightrail that is sure to increase in value over the next year just because of the location and newness. The problem is that it is a concrete environment (although clean and nice looking) surrounded by snake-infested fields. No place to play. Is there even a park within walking distance?--probably not. The next options are the older condos that have the grassy knolls, are in good locations, are decent but not likely to appreciate. Thankfully we don't have to worry about the schools yet! All in all, everything is going well and we are both getting more and more excited about meeting our little baby. Any apprehension I've had is gone, and I am ready for a family.

Theotokos (God-bearer)

O Theotokos and Virgin, rejoice! O Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb; for thou hast borne the Savior of our souls.

I've been reading up on the birthing process as well as the baby's physiological transition from the womb to our world.The process of giving birth to this heavenly, innocent little miracle is so...earthly. A woman in labor can demonstrate fear, joy, carnal behaviors, and experience both the overwhelming physical power of her body and never-before felt fatigue. It is sexual, messy and leaves little room for modesty. It is a beautiful thing; a beautiful, very human thing. All the effort pushes out a colorful little being covered in fluids and, hopefully, screaming its little head off to open its lungs and quick-start its own circulation of oxygenated blood.Most people think that a newborn baby is definitely sweet, but not too cute looking.

To imagine Christ God being born,squeezed from Mary's womb, coming out all purpleish-pink, wet and crying is almost unimaginable to me. She probably immediately put him to her breast, and I'm sure he was a good eater. She kept him warm, and he responded to her voice. They bonded like every mother and baby should at birth. It gives me a whole new perspective when I look at Mary holding the child Jesus in her arms as they are presenting each other to the world, cheek-to-cheek (Jesus usually gesturing toward Mary, and Mary toward Jesus). It is so natural. It is as if Jesus is saying: "this is my mother whom I respect and love above all else on this earth". And she is saying:"this is my baby, my son, our God and promised King". He says to the Church: "Love her as I love her; now she is your mother as well" (as he said on the cross to his disciple). And Mary says: "Look to Jesus and adore and honor Him. He is here for you as much as for me. This little one will one day save our very souls."

I can't imagine saying/thinking that about my own child! How did she balance the humility that came with knowing that her son is actually her GOD with her duty to nurture, protect, and simply raise this boy?...and balance in her mind her relationship with him as his physical mother and spiritual daughter? Their relationship is a wonderful miracle in itself. I believe that God's grace seeped into every part of her being to sanctify her as no other human will experience/achieve until the Kingdom arrives. Of course her purity was not complete, she was of course human. But who can claim to be closer in communion with God than Mary? And isn't that what purifies us?The closer we get to Him the more his fire burns us. So I am beginning to deeply love and revere the Blessed Theotokos. I praise and thank God for who he made her to be. I can only hope and pray that I will learn to be some part of the woman, mother and true Christian that she is.

O Theotokos, by Thine intercession and help we send up glory and thanksgiving for all things unto the One God in Trinity, the Creator of all, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

birth plans

For those of you who don't know, Andrei and I have hired a midwife for our pregnacy care and birth. We'll actually have the birth at the Mountain Midwifery birth center where there will be a midwife, nurse and my doula-sister. No, there will be no doctor in the building. Working in a hospital, I get a lot of comments..."Ooh, you should be careful; she would've died if she weren't in a hospital" or "So and so lost their baby at a 'birth center' b/c a doctor wasn't called soon enough" or "Our baby wasn't responding well to the pitocin so they almost had to do a c-section". I have even gotten looks that say "you're being irresponsible and could affect another life b/c of it."

I very much appreciate why these people are concerned, and I am not that offended when they take it upon themselves to tell me why my choice is maybe not such a good one. However, I also appreciate the fact that most people are misinformed and highly uninformed about the birth process, the use of and consequences (positive and negative) of medical interventions, and the use of and consequences of a more natural approach. (I don't intend to go into all that at this point. For those interested, there are plenty of books that discuss hospital and home birth options from either point of view.)

We must remember that a mom's comfort level is vital for having a safe, smooth birth ("stress" hormones can really screw things up). If she's more comfortable in the hospital bed, then that's where she should be. If she feels more comfortable in the birth center or at home, then that's where she should be. Neither side should be quick to judge the other's choices. I'm quickly learning about the huge wall growing between the two 'schools of thought', throwing the balance off in both natural and medical holistic care.

At the same time, I am quickly becoming an informed advocate for natural home/birth center births; and if you ask for my opinion, be sure it will be bias. However, don't try to get me on the defensive, trying to convince you why you're wrong for wanting a hospital birth. First of all, it's YOUR birth, not mine. Second of all, I think that giving advice/judgement/opinions should be reserved for those who specifically ask for it. Truly, I'd appreciate the same respect in return.

So while I said earlier that I don't get too offended...I guess maybe I do a little bit, despite my efforts not to. I just don't want to be labelled as a bad mom before my baby is even born. I'm sure none of us do.

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

loving you all for loving me and our little one...

being pregnant

Weeks 1-2
It starts off so romantic and innocent, with love bringing us close in mind and body. We are husband and wife, best friends needing little else than one another.

Week 3
Then comes the inkling that something has changed. Seems unlikely, but I can't shake the feeling. We take a late night trip to the drug store (haven't we all?). I pee and we wait those long 5 minutes. Dumbstruck, crying, very happy, confused. What just happened?

Week 4
Is it real? I feel good, the hazy feeling in my head is gone, my stomach is still, well, as flat as it's gonna get. But I still don't see red. We keep looking at my belly in wonder at what's happening so quietly in there. It's exciting. Surreal! Guess what?!--most people seem to know already. Turns out we aren't the only ones who've been waiting for the news.

Weeks 5-8
I've developed a little pooch. Makes me look more out-of-shape than pregnant. I'm not sure what to wear. Then again, who cares? I am pregnant after all. It's not my problem if they think I'm fat.

Weeks 8-Eternity
Now I'm feeling lousy. My love, Andrei, diligently peels me an orange each morning while I'm still half asleep to quell the impending storm in my stomach. They say to eat dry crackers, but the orange goes down so well; besides the crackers make me thirsty. The rest of the day, no matter how I try to eat, I feel like I've taken a bunch of vitamins on an empty stomachugh. Eventually the bad days overtake the good ones in frequency. I'm so sick of crackers, broth and Gatorade, but it's so hard to swallow a sandwich. You want me to take what-oil pills? I don't eat fish! I have a hunch this is going to last all nine months. True, it could be worse. And yes, it's a good sign that the pregnancy is coming along. Great.

Week 18
One day it happens. I get up before Andrei, wander around, have some tea. Then I stop: I haven't eaten! Hey, I don't feel so bad! I could get used to this. Sure I still need to eat constantly, but so what?

Week 20
A little fatigue and some growing pains are all that remain of the discomfort. My belly is getting rounder and looking more pregnant. Now all this really does just remind me that our baby is growing. What joy! This is the best time of the pregnancy, they say you have a feeling of well-being, excitement and energy. So far this is generally true for me, with the exception of my increased mood swings (just ask Andrei). I've started exercising little by little, and I'm getting crafty with little baby things (crocheting and cross-stitching). I'm looking forward to being a stay-at-home-mama with little side jobs.

Week 22
It's a girl! Is it cheating to get an ultrasound when there's no real need? Sorta...but what of it? It's so fun to see her unclench that little fist and fan a perfect set of fingers. Seeing her body for the fist time is amazing. He tiny heart pumps mightily with all four chambers, and all her organs are there and in their proper places. She kicks and pounds, letting us know we're invading her space with that probe. She's lying vertically, head down next to a soft cushion, my bladder! Hey I'll pee a hundred times a day for you, princess.

Week 23
I want her to know her papa's voice, especially. When he says his evening prayers, we are right beside him taking in the sound of his voice and of his faith. He kisses her goodnight and good morning and tells her how much she's loved. She's even been serenaded by his favorite band Red Hot Chili Peppers via an earphone in the belly button; apparently there are great acoustics in the womb! This is one lucky little girl to have such a good papa. I can't wait for us all to meet. These days I'm beginning to really wonder: who are you, little one? Will you be boisterous and active or more of a chiller? Either way, I know you'll have a will of iron like your parents. You won't leave us guessing, that's for sure. Will you be more interested in dolls or tools or things that go? Of course you're amazing, whoever you are. However you come out physically/mentally, you'll be perfect. You're being made for us, and we, your family, have been made for you. We will all grow through our imperfections together and prove to be a perfect match.

my first post

I am enjoying the the easy networking on myspace, but am getting tired of not being able to access my site b/c of technical difficulties. I'm going to give Blogger a go and see if I like it. It's nice to have a place to write my thoughts as I read interesting books and go through new experiences in life. I definitely blog more for my own good than for making an imprint on the world with my amazing thoughts. I need a way to unload my mind so I'm better able to shut it off at night.