strange

We were going through our huge stack of mail tonight and came across a strange envelope. At first I thought it was just a cheesy thing from a church, but what we found inside looked more like a cult...except I'm sure it's a total FRAUD. It sounds exactly like those emails I get from people in Nigeria trying to send me millions of dollars if only I'd fly to England to pick it up. These guys are "Saint Matthew's Church"...yeah right.

Highlights from Page 1, dated "Sunday, May 2008" (wow, and I opened it on Monday!):

Let this be the best year of your life through faith and prayer. God is ready to help you reach your dreams and goals.

People just like you are writing to this 57-year-old church, telling us of all types fo blessings since this church started praying with them...loved ones saved...better jobs, raises in salaries, being able to buy and sell homes, cars etc...

We believe that you are about to be blessed through this unusual, Bible Faith, Church, Prayer Rug which we are placing in your care for these next 24 important hours.

When you use this Faith Church Prayer Rug, go into a room where you can be alone (just God and you)...try to be by yourself when you kneel on this Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug, or spread it over your knees. We want this Church Ministry, Prayer Rug to be touching both of your knees as you pray for the needs you are facing right now.

These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God. After you kneel on this Church Prayer Rug, or place it over your knees, place it in a Bible, on Philippians 4:19. (If you don't have a Bible, it's okay - just slide it under your side of the bed, for tonight, if you can.) Leave It There No Longer Than Tonight Only! God sees. Then, in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing church Prayer Rug out of this house and back to us, here at the church's chapel prayer room, in faith...so we can rush it onto another family that's in need of a blessing.

Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and He will begin looking back at you. [This is true--you can see it right away. The "open" eyes look a bit freaky]

Pray about sowing a seed gift to the Lord's work. Give God your best seed and believe Him for His best blessings. And say "Yes, I want one of those Deuteronomy 8:18 Prosperity Crosses, blessed for me by the church."

Signed:
Saint Matthew's Senior Bishop

ps. Read your faith, Holy Ghost instructions on the enclosed, sealed prophecy, only after you have mailed this Prayer Rug back to the church for your blessed Deuteronomy 8:18 Prosperity Cross.

Page 2 (do I really need to tell you what was on Page 2?)

Lots of stories of people being blessed with thousands of dollars and/or healings.

The Prophecy was totally vague, of course.


I'm contemplating mailing these goodies to the local investigative news station for their records. Obviously this letter finds all the highly suggestible people who will do exactly what they say. I'm sure they would be telling me to send money in the next letter.

Anyway, this was our entertainment for the night, though a bit of a bore to read about, I'm sure. It was kind of interesting to see the "subliminal messaging" (thought it was pretty obvious). I'm sad for the people who fall for it.