the Dormition of the Most-Holy Theotokos

Congratulations with the Feast!

Tonight's service touched me, and I found the following songs especially beautiful, the words and the tunes (too bad you can't hear it--next time you should join me!)


O ye Apostles, having gathered here from the ends of the earth,
bury my body in Gethsemane.
And do Thou, O my Son and God,
receive my spirit. (Extapastilarion)


When the Translation of thy most pure tabernacle was being prepared,
the apostles surrounded thy deathbed and looked upon thee with dread,
and as they gazed at thy body, they were filled with awe.
In tears Peter cried aloud to thee:
'O undefiled Virgin
I see thee who art the life of all mankind lying here outstreched,
and I am struck with wonder:
for He who is the delight of the future life
made His dwelling in thee.
Pray, then, fervently to thy Son and God
to save thy flock from harm.' (Tone 6--)

congratulations with the feast!

Today is the feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord. Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee!

Troparion:

"Thou wast transfigured on the mountain O Christ our God
showing to Thy disciples Thy glory as each one could endure;
shine forth Thou on us, who are sinners all, Thy light ever-unending
through the prayers of the Theotokos, O Light-giver, glory to Thee"

prayers for the departed

It seems that every forty days someone in my family's extended circle passes away. For forty days after someone's passing, our family says this prayer every evening before bedtime:

"Have mercy, O Lord, on the soul of Thy departed servant ______ and grant them eternal rest in Thy Kingdom, where sickness and sorrow are no more, neither sighing, but life ever-lasting. Amen"

For the last year, we've said a new name almost every forty days (or somewhat close to it). I am actually considering putting together a "wall of the departed" with their pictures in our room under the cross. It would both serve as a reminder to pray for them all and as a reality check for our lives.

I just read the article Prayers for the Dead: Pannikhida by Bishop Alexander (Mileant). It is a short explanation of the Orthodox belief of our fate after death and the importance of prayers for the dead.

The more I understand and take in these Orthodox understandings, the more hope and peace I have for my own passing through death. Heaven for me is becoming less and less like an 'empty white room' and more like a community of people lovingly praying and helping each other to the glory of God. I am also more aware of the fact that the spiritual realm I will encounter after the death of my body is not supposed to be unfamiliar and that the goal of this life is to learn how to live in unison with the Holy Spirit, His saints (here and departed) and angels--life as it was meant to be lived in the garden, a perfect mystical union of the physical and of the spiritual.

From the article, here are some reality checks for me:

"Man is given life in order to learn how to believe, to do good, and to develop his talents. All of these things make up his spiritual riches, or, in the words of the Saviour, his "treasure in heaven." Death sums up the life of a person, and his soul must then come before God for an accounting, to receive its reward or punishment."

"While a person lives, God gives him the chance to repent and correct his shortcomings. After death, the possibility of repentance is removed. Still, if a person dies and is not deserving of paradise, this does not mean that he is doomed to eternal torment. Until the Last Judgment, the torments of sinners in hell are temporary and can be relieved or even removed by the prayers of believing people and the Church."

About the judgment the soul receives just after "falling asleep":

"But the judgment which follows soon after death is not yet the final judgment, because only the soul is being judged, without the body. About the existence of this preliminary judgment the Apostle Paul wrote: "It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" (Heb. 9:27). At the end of the world, after the universal resurrection of the dead, there will be the universal Last Judgment, at which God will judge all people simultaneously. Then each person will receive either eternal reward or eternal punishment with his or her resurrected body.

"Thus, there exist two states after death: one for the souls of the righteous, in paradise; the other for the souls of sinners, in hell. (The Orthodox Church does not accept the Roman Catholic teaching about an intermediate state in Purgatory. The church fathers usually attribute the word "Gehenna" to the state after the Last Judgment, when both death and hell will be cast into a fiery lake, cf. Rev. 20:15)."

Physical death is no longer the end for us nor for our relationships with one another:

"In order to appreciate the power of prayers for the dead, it must be understood that death interrupts only the physical contact among people; spiritual contact continues. This contact is realized through prayer....Thus, prayer joins our world with another world, where the angels, the saints and our departed relatives and friends dwell. Since the moment of the resurrection of Christ death has lost its former fatality; instead, it has become the beginning of a new life....Christians who have departed from this world do not sever their ties to the Church to which they belonged during their life."

"Prayers for the dead always benefit them. If they were not deemed worthy of heaven, these prayers alleviate their fate beyond the grave, and if they are in paradise, these prayers give them joy and an increase of light."


(I have posted a lot from the article here. You may just want to go read the whole thing if you're interested. Father Alexander's website is such a great resource for such articles.)
---------------

back into it

Hey everyone. I have been missing for a while, I know. I've been busy with a bunch of different things, and nothing in particular has come to mind to write. I've had a lot to think about, but picking one thought and then translating it into something readable can be an issue sometimes. Anyway, I'm hoping to get back into writing now and then. I like to write because it usually means that I've been reading and thinking and been more conscious of my experiences.

I've been reading Illness and Cure of the Soul in the Orthodox Tradition by the Metropolitan of Nafpaktos Hierotheos. It is a great book, and I'd be interested in seeing if he has published any others. I'm also reading The Way of a Pilgrim, a classic gem about the Prayer of the Heart which I plan to reread. Both have been very edifying and I have a million little tabbies marking my favorite pages :)

Something new--I have joined a discussion group for the book Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard. It is outside my normal type of reading, but it should be interesting to see some of the new (or not) ideas forming within in the Protestant circle. So far the book seems fairly rationalistic/scientific, but I am only into the second chapter. Maybe a better description would be "thorough"--he is careful to clarify everything, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I could barely stand the first chapter, but the second chapter was more palatable, I guess you could say. Glancing ahead there were a few topics I do look forward to reading. My ultimate measuring stick for the book is whether or not there is an emphasis on repentance and prayer as the main things we can do to change the course of our spiritual formation. In any case, in the group there have been a few great comments, and I look forward to hearing more of people's thoughts as we go through the book.

I guess that's it for now. I'll keep you posted :)

a prayerful sighing of parents for their children

These prayers a so beautiful and helpful. If you have children (or God-children), I hope you are able to incorporate them into your prayers.
(original source)

LORD Jesus Christ, Son of God, for the sake of the prayers of Thy Most Pure Mother, hearken unto me, Thine unworthy servant (name), O Lord, govern in mercy my children, Thy servants (names). Have mercy on them and save them, for Thy name’s sake.O Lord, forgive them all their transgressions, voluntary and involuntary, that they may be perfected before Thee. O Lord, set them on the true path of Thy commandments and enlighten their minds with the Light of Christ unto salvation of their souls and the healing of their bodies. Bless them, O Lord, at home, at school, in their journeys and in every place of Thy dominion. Preserve and shelter them, O Lord, from flying bullets, arrows, the sword, poison and fire, from mortal wounds and sudden death. Guard them, O Lord, from all visible and invisible enemies, and from all danger, evil and misfortune. Heal them O Lord, from all sickness, deliver them from every impurity, and lighten their spiritual sufferings. Grant them, O Lord, the grace of Thy Holy Spirit and a long life; grant them health and chastity in all piety and love, and to live in accord with all their neighbors, near and far. Multiply and strengthen them, O Lord, in mental ability and bodily strength, given to them by Thee. Bless them to lead a pious life and, if it is pleasing to Thee, grant them married life and honorable childbearing. For Thy name’s sake, O Lord, give me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant, a parental blessing for my children and Thy servants, both in this present time, morning, noon and night, and also in Thine eternal, almighty and all-powerful Kingdom. Amen.

O God, Maker of all creation, Thou hast made me worthy to be the mother of a family, and through Thy goodness hast bestowed children upon me; and so I dare to say: these children are Thine, for Thou hast given them being, hast infused them with an immortal soul, and hast raised them to life through baptism. And in accordance with Thy will Thou has adopted them and received them into the bosom of Thy Church. Send down to me Thy gracious help in raising my children, for the glory of Thy name. Bestow on me patience and strength to do Thy will. Teach me to plant in their hearts the root of true wisdom-the fear of the Lord-that all their lives they may tremble at Thy words. Open to them the understanding of Thy law. Until the end of their days let them act with the sense that Thou art everywhere present. Plant in their hearts loathing for every transgression, that they may be pure in their signs. O Righteous Judge, who punishes children for the sins, but sprinkle them with the dew of Thy grace. O Heavenly Father, order the fate of my children according to Thy blessings, do not deprive them in this life of their daily bread, send down to them in due time all that is necessary for the acquisition of blessings in eternity. Be merciful to them, when they sin before Thee; look not upon the sins of their youth and ignorance; chastise them and have mercy on them, but turn not Thy face away from them. Turn not Thy face from the in the day of their tribulation, that they may not fall into temptations beyond their strength. Cover them with Thy mercy, that Thine Angel may walk with them and preserve them. Abandon not my children, O Lord, and give them that which is profitable for salvation. Amen.

when i was little

When I was little I spoke to the angels. Not like I had visions or anything. I just knew they were there helping and protecting me, so I figured I'd talk to them on occasion. Often I'd just thank them for their help. I must have mentioned it to someone because I remember being told that we only pray (talk) to God. So after that when I'd pray to God, I'd ask him to please strengthen my angels and to thank them for me :) lol. Now I understand that it is always good to give thanks (to friends, saints, angels) and, in the same breath, to give the glory to God since it is through Him that all things come to us.

When I was little I loved the story about how Jesus said "Let the little children come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven." I believed that children are particularly special to Jesus and hoped and prayed that He would return to earth while I was still young so that I could be that special little child who got to sit on His lap. How I longed for His coming!

When I was little I prayed really hard for about a week that it would literally rain money. I believed He could make it happen and saw no reason why it wouldn't be a good idea (except that the falling change would kinda hurt, like hail does). I was told that that is not exactly the kind of prayer God is likely to grant, but I just figured they probably never even tried it. Well, turns out they were right.

When I was little I often questioned my salvation and therefore would ask God again and again to come into my heart. Later I was told that I shouldn't doubt and that I didn't need to keep asking. So I stopped asking, but I didn't stop wondering/questioning until I was a little older.

When I was little I was so many things. It is funny to look back.

What comes to mind when you look back?

not so smart afterall

Recently I have noticed in myself a tendency to think and read more about spiritual things than actually live a spiritual life of prayer. It's an ironic temptation. For example, often times I read or write late into the night, come away tired and then (sometimes) say a quick prayer and cross myself before drifting off to sleep. Honestly, if the angels wouldn't whisper, "Is this bed to be my coffin..?" in my ear, I'm not sure I'd even get a quick prayer in half the time. Other times when I am actually praying, very often certain words will spark different thoughts on a related subject and I will be thinking about those things while my mouth is reciting prayers.

I am now reading a book called The Way of a Pilgrim (author unknown). It is a lovely little book full of wisdom about understanding Prayer of the Heart (Jesus Prayer) and learning to apply it. Just the other night I encountered this dialogue which deals exactly with my issue. I offer it here in case it may encourage you as it has me. I put in bold my favorite part.

(spiritual Father) "Tell me more about the edifying experiences you have encountered in your wanderings."

(pilgrim) "It would take a long time to tell of them all; besides, I have already forgotten a great deal; I have always tried to remember only that which guided and urged my indolent soul to prayer. All the rest I remember but rarely. Or rather, I try to forget the past, as the Apostle Paul bids us. My late elder of blessed memory also used to say that forces opposed to the Prayer in the heart assail us from two sides, from the right hand and the left. In other words, if the enemy cannot distract us from prayer by means of vain and sinful thoughts, he brings back edifying reminiscences into our minds, or fills them with beautiful ideas so that he may draw us away from the Prayer--a thing which he cannot bear. This is called 'a theft from from the right side,' where the soul, forgetting its intercourse with God, revels in a colloquy with itself or with other created things. Therefore, he taught me to shut myself off from even the most sublime spiritual thoughts whenever I am at prayer. And if at the end of the day I remembered that more time had been given to lofty ideas and talks than to the essential secret Prayer of the Heart, I was to consider it a sign of spiritual covetousness and immoderation."

Sergei Esenin

Tonight I am in the mood to listen to Russian poetry recitation, so I found these clips.

The first clip is from a tv film series "Esenin" about the life and death of Sergei Esenin. It is very well made and captivating, and we watched the whole series within a day or two. The second is not related to the film.

Here is a brief biography if you are interested.

Enjoy!



Россия родина моя

franklin graham, not my friend!

I just read this article about Franklin Graham's Festival of Hope in Kiev, Ukraine. This is a good example of why the Orthodox Church is not happy about the Westernization of...I mean crusade into...I mean evangelization of Russia and Ukraine by Protestant Church, Inc.

The opening line spoke of the beauty of the golden churches in Kiev "A feeling of Old Testament gravity and ritual hangs in the air."

Then the author recalls Graham's story of Nicodemus:

"He was a very religious man ... conscientious in all his religious duties.” But for all of that, he said, Nicodemus was still troubled in his soul, unsure of how one is able to stand before God. So he went to Jesus by the cover of night to ask Him. “When Jesus answers his question, ‘You must be born again,’ Nicodemus must have been stunned,” Franklin said. “He was a Pharisee, the strictest of all religious sects. They dedicated their lives to upholding the law of God.” He continued, “You see, religion is not enough to save you.” After being in their country just a while, Franklin said, he could see Ukraine was a very religious nation—but, like Jesus told Nicodemus, religion is not enough. We have to be born again.

[Can I tell you just how much I've come to love the phrases "born again" and "personal savior"?]

Franklin explained why: “You can’t work for your salvation. If you could work for it or buy it, you would boast about it. The only way you can experience forgiveness is by God’s grace through faith in His Son Jesus Christ. ... It’s coming into an agreement with God. ... You’re telling God, I want to turn from my sins. I don’t want to go back to that old life. I want that new life.”

Graham takes cheap shots at Orthodoxy, shows a complete lack of understanding of her teachings and misleads people by telling them that the Church does not believe in salvation by grace but by works. You'd think these "great wise" leaders would be the ones most educated about other faiths so as to have a better understanding of their own. I guess not. Or does he know the truth and yet choose to mow over it in order to win more to his side?

(Kind of off topic, but I can't move on without pointing out how he says that "salvation by grace" equals an "agreement" between man and God. hm. Interesting how that works.)

I could go on and on about the issues I have with Big Chrisitanity's evanglization efforts in Russia....but I'd better not. All I'll say is GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

But, Glory to God, despite such efforts to elbow out Orthodox culture, the Russian Orthodox Church is bouncing back and is continuing to grow. The blood of the martyrs is bearing great fruits, and the unity of the Church is even stronger than before.

I heard about this article from Fr Stephen's blog. He is much more graceful and helpful in his response in "The Orthodox Church and Personal Salvation".

strange

We were going through our huge stack of mail tonight and came across a strange envelope. At first I thought it was just a cheesy thing from a church, but what we found inside looked more like a cult...except I'm sure it's a total FRAUD. It sounds exactly like those emails I get from people in Nigeria trying to send me millions of dollars if only I'd fly to England to pick it up. These guys are "Saint Matthew's Church"...yeah right.

Highlights from Page 1, dated "Sunday, May 2008" (wow, and I opened it on Monday!):

Let this be the best year of your life through faith and prayer. God is ready to help you reach your dreams and goals.

People just like you are writing to this 57-year-old church, telling us of all types fo blessings since this church started praying with them...loved ones saved...better jobs, raises in salaries, being able to buy and sell homes, cars etc...

We believe that you are about to be blessed through this unusual, Bible Faith, Church, Prayer Rug which we are placing in your care for these next 24 important hours.

When you use this Faith Church Prayer Rug, go into a room where you can be alone (just God and you)...try to be by yourself when you kneel on this Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug, or spread it over your knees. We want this Church Ministry, Prayer Rug to be touching both of your knees as you pray for the needs you are facing right now.

These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God. After you kneel on this Church Prayer Rug, or place it over your knees, place it in a Bible, on Philippians 4:19. (If you don't have a Bible, it's okay - just slide it under your side of the bed, for tonight, if you can.) Leave It There No Longer Than Tonight Only! God sees. Then, in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing church Prayer Rug out of this house and back to us, here at the church's chapel prayer room, in faith...so we can rush it onto another family that's in need of a blessing.

Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and He will begin looking back at you. [This is true--you can see it right away. The "open" eyes look a bit freaky]

Pray about sowing a seed gift to the Lord's work. Give God your best seed and believe Him for His best blessings. And say "Yes, I want one of those Deuteronomy 8:18 Prosperity Crosses, blessed for me by the church."

Signed:
Saint Matthew's Senior Bishop

ps. Read your faith, Holy Ghost instructions on the enclosed, sealed prophecy, only after you have mailed this Prayer Rug back to the church for your blessed Deuteronomy 8:18 Prosperity Cross.

Page 2 (do I really need to tell you what was on Page 2?)

Lots of stories of people being blessed with thousands of dollars and/or healings.

The Prophecy was totally vague, of course.


I'm contemplating mailing these goodies to the local investigative news station for their records. Obviously this letter finds all the highly suggestible people who will do exactly what they say. I'm sure they would be telling me to send money in the next letter.

Anyway, this was our entertainment for the night, though a bit of a bore to read about, I'm sure. It was kind of interesting to see the "subliminal messaging" (thought it was pretty obvious). I'm sad for the people who fall for it.

people with icons

People with Icons

At baptism, Orthodox Christians take a saint's name. This saint becomes their patron saint. During morning prayers, we say "Saint ___, intercede to God for us."

The saints are depicted in icons--paintings--that line the walls of Orthodox churches, our homes (living room, bedrooms, kitchens), sometimes our desk at work, often in our cars and anyplace that is appropriate!

Here, you can share a portrait of yourself or someone else with their patron saint or another icon that is important to them!

Inspired by Women with Icons

As one member of this group has mentioned in comments, the process of taking the one picture is not to be taken lightly. It can, however, be very motivating and inspiring to have a specific occasion for which to ponder upon our relationship with Christ and His saints.

For moderation purposes, you have to be invited to join the group. If you're interested, we'll figure out a safe way for me to get your email so I can sen you an invite.

hell

[Thanks to Matthew Gallatin's podcast "Judgment Day" and Fr Stephen Freeman's blog post "What Are You Waiting For?"]

Many think of horned demons in hell pushing people around with pitchforks. However, our sinful passions in this life will be our real tormentors in eternity, for we will be separated from our flesh which is able to feed them. Our souls will burn with insatiable desire and frustration because we will have all that we desire but no way to enjoy it.

Again, in the end will we all get what we have been waiting for and desire. Everyday I prioritize my desires and needs and schedule my day around them. Which of these are temporal and which are eternal? What will be left once I walk through the purifying fires and cross into eternity? I wonder if this is what the Lake of Fire is: God's presence. Some will enter it and
find themselves unscathed; others will survive, though greatly reduced; perhaps some will almost perish, but the purifying flames will compel them to repent; and others will be completely lost in the fire, for they will have committed their whole selves to to the world in sin and will have nothing left for eternity. Will they burn so completely that they cease to exist?

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner. Though I have done nothing good in Thy sight, yet grant me by Thy grace to make a good beginning! And grant me repentance before the end!

Martyr Petronia

Just the other day I decided to do a thorough Google search on my patron saint, Marytr Petronia. There is very little information about her since she lived and died in the first century, as far as I can tell. I actually found three dates set aside for a St Petronia (Petronilla): Sept 29, May 31, and Oct 8. I don't know if there are three different St Petronia's or if the one is celebrated on different dates.

Interestingly, October 8 is Taisia's name day, our wedding day, and the name day of the priest who married us. I am, however, a little skeptical about this date because of the source where I found it.

In Rome St Petronilla (May 31) is very popular and her relics are even in St Peter's Basillica. There are several of legends attached to her, including that she is the "daughter" of Apostle Peter and that instead of dying a martyr she miraculously became deathly ill and died a virgin, thus avoiding unwanted marriage to a noble. Funny how the people prefer a romantic story to a martyr's crown.

As for September 29, I was able to find her listed on several Orthodox calendars and so I'm sure it is legit. I remembered that this date is around the time that I was baptized, about a week before our wedding (Oct 8). Out of curiosity I asked my mother in law to see if she could find the exact date on which I was baptized (b/c our dated photos are on a hard drive that died, and I didn't have a calendar to mark at that point). She found her day-timer for that year and wrote me back...I was baptized on September 29!

This is really exciting and affirming for me because although I have grown to love my name and have learned to pray to St Petronia, every so often a little doubt creeps in about the reality of her existence. Also, my original intent was to be named after Apostle Peter, so sometimes I wonder if I should consider him as my patron saint. Also, I have been baptized into the Russian Orthodox Church, and it is uncommon to pick a non-Russian name--and Petronia is about as uncommon as one can get (outside of Rome, apparently). So I've had all these little doubts, try as I have to squash them by trusting God's good will.

So yeah, having been unwittingly baptized on my name day makes it quite obvious that Martyr Petronia is praying for me and is meant to be my patron saint. Fits right in with the saying that the saints choose us. Glory to God!

a little story about St Ephraim

At that time the venerable Ephraim decided to take up his dwelling in Edessa and prayed, "O Lord Jesus Christ, deem me worthy to behold Thy city, and as I enter it, send me someone with whom I can converse profitably about the Scriptures." Arriving at the gates of Edessa, he saw only a woman. The saint was disappointed and whispered, "Lord, Thou hast disdained Thy servant's prayer. Can a woman tell me anything I do not already know about Thy word?"

The woman stopped and stared at Ephraim, who asked her, "At what are you looking?"

"I am looking at you, because the first woman was made from a man's rib, but you should be looking at the ground, from which the first man was taken," she retorted. Ephraim marveled at the reply and praised God, Who had given the woman such wisdom. He realized that the Lord had answered his prayer, and he took up his abode in the city, where he dwelt for a long time.

I cracked up at her response. Then I marveled at his humility.

It is from the life of St Ephraim the Syrian.

Oprah has her own church, too?

I received an email about this and found it interesting, though not very surprising:

On March 3, 2008, 300K people gathered for Oprah Winfrey’s Church. Now there are 2 million members.

Some of their teachings:

~ Denies Christ’s sacrificial death

~ There is no sin

~ There are millions of ways to ’salvation’

~ Christians are confused

~ Salvation comes from ’me’

~ Teaches the ’New Age Christ’

~ etc. etc.

This is interesting and noteworthy since I bet many faithful followers of Oprah probably thought she was a Christian. Truth is, she seems to "feel" a truth (watch the vid) that may acknowledge Christ, but only as a symbol. Keep in mind when watching that feelings are products of our rational mind; they do NOT represent reality and they are NOT the makings of our soul.

"From the words of Isaac the Syrian we see that what we call prelest proper exists when a man starts trying to live above his capabilities. Without having cleansed himself of passions, he strives for a life of contemplation and dreams of the delights of spiritual grace. Thus the wrath of God befalls a man; because he thinks too highly of himself, God’s grace is withdrawn from him and he falls under the influence of the evil one who actively begins to tickle his vainglory with lofty contemplation and [spiritual] delights..."



I agree with the electronic-sounding guy in the video--everybody, it is time to turn off the d@!$ television!!!

repentance opens up a new way...

Prayers by the Lake, XVIII by St Nicholai of Ohrid and Zica

Repent of your ways, inhabitants of the earth. Behold, the eye of the Master of the world is keeping watch deep within you. Do not trust your seducible eyes, let the Eye illumine your way. Your eyes are curtains over the Eye of God.

Repentance is admission of the way of sin. Repentance opens up a new way. The penitent’s eyes are open to two ways: to the way which he is going, and to the way he should be going.

There are more who feel repentant than there are who turn their wheels onto a new way. I tell you: the penitent must have two types of courage--he must have the courage to weep over his old way, and he must have the courage to prepare himself for a new way.

What good is it for you to feel repentant and still tread the old way? How do you describe a person who is drowning and shouts for help, but when help arrives will not grab hold of the life line? I liken such a person to you.

Repent of your yearning for this world and all that is in this world. For this world is the graveyard of your ancestors, which is gaping and waiting for you. Just a little longer and you will be ancestors and will yearn to hear the word "repentance," but you will not hear it.

Just as the wind begins blowing and carries off the mist before the sun, so will death carry you off before the face of God.

Repentance rejuvenates the heart and lengthens one’s lifetime. The tears of a penitent wash darkness from his eyes, and give his eyes a childlike radiance. The eye of my lake is like the eye of a deer, always moist and radiant as a diamond. In truth, the moisture in the eyes drains the anger in the heart.

The soul in the penitent is like a new moon. A full moon must wane, a new moon must wax.

The penitent clears the weeds from the field of his soul, and the seed of goodness begins to grow.

Truly, the penitent is not one who laments over the evil deed he has committed, but one who laments over all the evil deeds that he is capable of committing. A wise landowner not only cuts the thornbush that has pricked him, but every thornbush on the field that is waiting to prick him.

O my Lord, make haste to show a new way to every penitent, after he scorns his old way.

O heavenly Mother, Bride of the All-Holy Spirit, bow down toward our heart, when we repent. Open the fountain of tears within us, that we may wash away the heavy clay, that saddens our eyes.

O All-Holy Spirit, blow and disperse the unclean stench from the soul of the penitent that has been choking him and lead him to repentance.

We bow down and beseech You, O Life-giving and Mighty Spirit!

Lenten prayer of St Ephraim the Syrian

O Lord and Master of my life,
Take from me the spirit of sloth, despondency, lust of power, and idle talk.
But grant unto me, Thy servant, a spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love.
Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own faults and not to judge my brother,
For blessed art Thou unto the ages. Amen.

O God, cleanse me a sinner.

asking forgiveness

Dear family and friends in Christ,

Today is Forgiveness Sunday, a day of preparation for our journey of repentance and struggle against the passions, or in other words, Great Lent. Today at church priests and laity alike prostrated ourselves before each other, one by one, repenting and asking for forgiveness. With our hope in the Bright Resurrection of our Lord, in unity we chose unconditional forgiveness and responded to each other "God forgives, and I forgive you."

To my loved ones, acquaintances and to readers just passing by, I ask you to please forgive me, a sinner, for any offense I my have committed against you, whether in knowledge or in ignorance, known or unknown, in word or deed.

To the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray for those who may have sinned against me: may nothing be held against them on my account, but may they be saved by Thy grace. Forgive us, O Lord, for all are the works of Thy hands. Show compassion on us, for Thou art good and the Lover of mankind.

Women with Icons

I linked to this beautiful slide show from Martha's page. I just love it and hope you will all take a look. Women with Icons

demon hunters beware

"You don't become holy by fighting evil. Let evil be. Look towards Christ and that will save you." -Fr Stephen

I remember my days of seeking out spiritual battles--taunting the demons, declaring holy war against them...wow. In the end, when my soul passes through the realm of kingdom of darkness with my 'third eye' wide open, we will see who is taunting who along the way to the Final Judgment. (Lord, grant me repentance before the end!)

The thing is that these battles with demons distract from what really matters: the battle within ourselves against our evil passions which pull us further and further away from who/what we are meant to be--holy images of our holy God. Instead of looking toward God in order to learn true love and humility, we are focusing on the evil which exists 'out there' as well as basically practicing pride and judgment to boot. The demons know this and revel in anything that hinders us from using this short life to find unity with God. If we want to fight demons for real, we must achieve real humility. They have no defense against a contrite heart...neither do our passions.

Maybe one could say that instead of hating evil, we should turn from it and love God and our neighbor? 'Cause it sure seems true that we become what we hate...I can't get these guys out of my mind.
Demon Hunter:
"Storm the Gates of Hell"
"Hell hath no fury at all"