Mother's day weekend

This weekend I certainly was reminded that I am a mother.

Taisia had a couple of sleepless nights on Friday and Saturday, and Sunday night looked like another impossible night of wakeful cries, squeals, and figeting. Exhausted, I was getting more and more upset about the whole thing. More than being just tired and cranky, I was worried about her lack of sleep.

Taisia is a sensitive little girl, and her separation anxiety on top of her normal hopes of playing all night kept her from falling asleep, let alone staying asleep. So I lay on the floor of our room next to her mattress (on which I also put one of my shirts which smelled of me and breast milk), being sure not to interact with her but letting her feel secure with my presence. So for a couple of hours she squealed happily, rolled around (esp after she found out that I'd move her away from the edge to prevent her from rolling off), and let out louder and louder noises that said "Hey you! Yeah, you!" In the midst of my frustration, I couldn't help but smile. What a funny girl. I did think for 2 seconds about leaving the room to let her cry it out, but besides my aversion to the method in general, I just don't think it would work for her: she could cry and scream all night. After some time of her obviously not calming down this way, Andrei bounced her back into the twilight zone (for the 5th or 6th time). Meanwhile I went to askdrsears.com for some advice. He is a big proponent for co-sleeping and last night he convinced me. So I asked Andrei to put her in our bed. She slept for 15 minutes before we heard her talking and moving around again. Since she wasn't crying (but I was about to, myself), we left her alone for a while. Then there was silence. I had to peek in to see it with my own eyes. She actually put herself back to sleep...and she stayed asleep for a few hours! I felt like a new person just knowing she was finally asleep.

So we all slept together last night. Yes, SLEPT. She did wake up a couple times to nurse, but neither she nor I had to wake up as much as usual for the occasion; and Andrei didn't wake up at all! It certainly was cozy. I loved to feel her head leaning against my shoulder and her little hand reaching for my side.

This wasn't the first time we brought her to bed with us. Often during the day I'll lay her on our bed for a nap (sometimes with me in it) because I like to think that she can sleep in more than one place. And there have been nights we've had her between us, but usually I move her back to her bed the next time we get up to nurse.

We'll see how this week goes. Maybe we'll become a co-sleeping family. I still plan to have her take her daytime naps in her own bed, if she'll do it, just for variety's sake. One thing I've learned is that every method is fair game when raising a child. You just never know what will be your saving grace.

I have to end by saying that for Mother's day Andrei took us girls out for lunch, bought me flowers for the porch, and stayed home with Taisia for some time so I could get out and be a real individual. I also planted a couple herbs which I am excited about. So I had a nice first Mother's day. Thanks honey.